Chung-ja Cho

I got to know this meditation because of my younger sister. For over ten years, my younger sister recommended I do this meditation, but I believed that I would live my life better with love rather than cleaning my mind. I believed nothing could overcome love so I tried to live embracing everything and volunteered a lot. But my own mind was never happy. I had been living harder, more diligently, and more righteously than others, yet I was filled with stress.

The anger and resentment deep within my heart that I had been living with appeared as thyroid cancer

Having been brought up with Confucian family traditions, I never talked back to the elders.  I stored all my anger and resentment deep down inside my chest and simply replied, “Yes”. That accumulated inside me for decades until my 60s when it appeared physically as my body became more and more stiff. My arms and legs wouldn’t move well and even just sitting was difficult. To find out what illness I had, I went to multiple hospitals for two to three years and took a many different medications and exercised diligently. When it got to the point where I could barely stay sitting up comfortably, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer. I had been so concerned about my stiff body and treating it that I had not paid attention to my thyroid problems and that became cancer.

I was greatly discouraged that I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer after all that I had done. I started this meditation after having selected a surgery date. It wasn’t easy for me to throw away my minds.  It was difficult to sit for long hours, so I wondered if I could do this. I had so many negative thoughts, I had to put 100 times more effort into it. But I still didn’t give up and I spent twice as much time doing the meditation. From that moment, I could really see myself and truly repent.

After meditation, my resentment disappeared and I was no longer tied up with my illness

Living life by the book, being prim and proper, I used to think that I had lived well and did not need to clean my mind. But now I am so sorry to my family who had to deal with my egoistic pride. They must have had a hard time with me. Even my husband coming home late at night and his frequent drinking that I couldn’t understand was all because of me. Thinking about how he must have had no place to rest because he must have felt my dissatisfaction towards him and my wanting to kick him out, made me sad.

When I returned home from meditation, I bowed to my husband. “If I hadn’t done this meditation, then I would have lived my entire life resenting you. But I threw away all those minds and now I can say that I truly love you and am grateful for it.”  Even my physical body has greatly improved and I am going hiking regularly, my body is returning to normal. It has been seven years since my thyroid cancer surgery and I am no longer tied to my body so much so that I forget I even had surgery.

They say illness in the mind brings physical bodily illness. If I can just live with this mind, then I can say with confidence that I will never have any illness. These days, I am having so much fun with my husband. Coming up on 70 years of age, I don’t have to worry about the future and about my health. I can truly enjoy life and I am so happy about that.


Source: www.meditationlife.org